Trust no one with your goodie bag.
If you are a woman in Kano and a man offers you flowers, money, or meat, always choose meat.
Life is cheap and God is fickle. We thank God; if God wills it, it will be; Inshallah…. Words uttered by man for comfort in the face of chaos, disorder and impotence.
No amount of money can buy organization in Nigeria, because no amount of money can buy something that doesn’t exist.
No matter what time you arrive, you will not be late. Whenever you are there, that is when you are meant to be there.
No matter who you are, you still have to hustle for champagne.
Every day is for the thief. I will look into your eyes and smile with respect—Yes Ma, Yes Oga—as I pick your pocket.
Arms dealers in Kano who say they export sesame seeds and fertilizer and tell you there’s a “five percent chance” you’ve been “marked” and that the Sallah holiday is dangerous are trying to scare you so they can comfort you. Say no to all dinner invitations and offers for their goons to shake down your trusty taxi driver.
Sani is the best taxi driver in all of Kano, and perhaps all of Nigeria, and perhaps all of the world.
Whatsapp conversations where one party is shitting blood and the other is petrified of being kidnapped = #livingthedream